A strong woman can be defined in many ways ~ ultimately it is how she thinks and lives that will either help or hinder her ability to cultivate true inner and outer strength.
What constitutes real strength? The ability to endure great challenges? Learning to connect with her innermost core essential being, to bravely express her true nature? Having the courage to persevere, no matter what obstacles arise?
No doubt it is all of this, and more.
Here is how I've come to define what characterizes a strong woman.
A strong woman lives authentically, guided by the truest desires within her heart, and has the strength of mind and body to be true to herself, and live a healthy, meaningful, and virtuous life.
She embraces her embodiment of the archetypal, and divinely sacred feminine expression, striving to realize her greatest potential, without trying to be something, or someone she is not. She learns how to both give and receive nurturance ~ firstly to her own self.
A strong woman is also a woman who has realized the many ways she may be living inauthentically, and/or may have many unhealed parts causing her mind and spirit to be fractured, and who thus strives to resolve her past wounds, unify her life, and become more fully integrated, whole and aligned.
Note that being defined as a strong woman requires awakening, becoming conscious, and taking ownership to the areas where she is not in a whole, healed, and integrated state ~ and subsequently taking action to rectify one's incongruence, and areas where she is not in her Right Alignment. This is a life process! It is not essential to already be whole and integrated to be considered a strong woman, but rather it's about having personal integrity and commitment to working on issues with the goal of bettering herself, and therefore also being an example to those around her. In other words, part of what makes her strong is her ability to accept her flaws and weaknesses, and her willingness to be vulnerable ~ including being able to ask for help!
Realizing this is the first step, just as any addictions recovery program requires one to acknowledge that they have a problem that is currently seemingly beyond their ability to control without help.
Following through with the appropriate steps is what puts you on a path to becoming a Strong Woman ~ of body, mind & heart.
Being a Strong Woman Requires Radical Self-Reflection & Self-Honesty
A strong woman must also strengthen her mind, take charge of overly emotional states, and learn to trust and follow her heart.
We may grow older, yet have many unhealed past wounds that are operating beneath the surface of our conscious awareness.
As an aside, I will be writing more in detail about how our various unhealed 'parts' get triggered, and cause us to react emotionally, and/or regress to a less evolved, wounded aspect of ourselves, and how to regain emotional control by working with our parts.
Suffice it to say, a strong woman realizes that she alone is responsible for cultivating personal happiness, and seizes the opportunity for self-reflection and healing when triggered emotionally,rather than blame external circumstances.
To be a strong woman requires radical self-reflection and self-honesty. Sometimes we more fully embrace who we really are through experiences that help us realize who we are not.
There are also many ways we are operating that are counter to our true nature ~ shaped by the influences of the predominant (and pervasive) cultural paradigms that while popular, or 'normal' run counter to our true authentic nature and ability to thrive.
In this video, I discuss 'just showing up' as a first step in cultivating anything of lasting quality ~ including developing physical strength. We have to make ourselves take those first steps, ignoring all the many complaints and excuses of the (lower) mind, which will attempt to convince us we have 'more important things to do', or that 'we can always start tomorrow.'
The video below is an interview with Russel Means from 2013, prior to his passing, as he and his beloved Pearl discuss their cultural belief about the gender role
A Strong Woman Understands Her Power & Role ~ as Divined by Providence ~ as a Complementary & Equally Valued Counterpart to the Strong Masculine Energy.
She does not perceive herself as oppressed or lesser than in any way ~ and instead appreciates her strengths and true source of power, while recognizing and honoring the complementary strengths and true power of the masculine.
She does not see herself as a victim, and will not engage with those who treat her with disrespect.
She sees the outcry of many women claiming to be oppressed by 'the patriarch' as a weak posturing, a declaration of being a victim, and a victim she is not.
A strong woman and a strong man strive to emulate the harmonious balanced expression of yin and yang energies ~ within themselves, with each other, and with all and life.
I read an article online where several women share how they define a strong woman. I certainly agree with some of the statements, such as:
"A strong woman is someone who isn't afraid to share her opinions and speak her truth. She listens, but she doesn't allow others problems to bring her down. She is filled with kindness, generosity, compassion, integrity, a willingness to be vulnerable, and authenticity. No matter what she is true to herself."
However, it is statements like this that I believe we must move beyond:
"A strong woman is a busy, vibrant, and goal-orientated woman who doesn't wait for a man to validate her existence."
First off, being productive is good, especially when accomplishing important and meaningful tasks. Being busy? I know many women who keep themselves quite busy, and they are usually full of stress! I think being 'busy' all the time is an over-rated quality, often a method of avoidance. Avoiding facing one's true inner feelings that may actually be quite resentful of being so busy! Busy-ness keeps us from realizing our greatest truths, and feeling our feelings. I don't consider that strong at all, I consider it a pathology, and a sickness waiting to happen. We are spiritual be-ings as well as human do-ings! Life is about finding balance! If we are always busy and goal oriented, we may miss the call of our inner spirit.
And who says anyone of us are needing someone external to us to validate our existence? That is the sentiment of someone who has a belief of not being worthy or valuable, and projecting it outward.
Being vibrant is the natural out-picturing of a strong woman who has self-respect, takes good care of herself and her possessions, and has a positive mental outlook on life. Contrarily, someone who believes that half the entire population is out to control or suppress will probably not exude a radiant, vibrant glow, as these very thoughts are a negative energy drain.
Be the strong woman!
Not a whiny woman who is stuck in victim mode, rehashing narratives that may no longer be valid beyond the spheres of mainstream media. The more we demonize the opposite sex, and continually blame them for all our hold-ups, and unfair treatment, the more weak we both look, and become. The more men will prefer to 'go their own way.'
Yelling loudly is not a show of strength. But a quiet acceptance of knowing who you are, and not needing to flaunt, brag, boast, or have unrealistic expectations of others is true strength. Gentleness is strength. Being loving and yet having appropriate boundaries is true strength.
"A strong woman is confident, yes. But I think the best way to describe a woman's strength is a sense of 'confident humility,' paired with faith and passion. By 'confident humility' I just mean someone that isn't so humble that she comes across as weak. Rather, someone that can stay confident without getting arrogant." (To which I'll add, or defensive.)
Not too many decades ago, a healthy, strong man and healthy, strong woman equally strived to meet their ideal partner once they became legal adults. The urge to raise a family is part of our evolutionary development as a species ~ as is the case for all life, including both animals and plants! Preservation and transmission of one's essence, is hard-wired to all natural beings.
What we are hard-wired to desire is by design, and is regardless of one's personal choices.
However, one could argue that the lack of a desire to participate in our most biologically and evolutionarily adapted priorities could reflect the influences of wrong diet, and the alien belief systems teaching us to go against our own nature.
A strong woman sees the quintessentially vital importance of being a nurturing and supportive caregiver to her young, and seeks to become healthy of body and mind to best support this process.
While I realize we each have our unique lessons to learn, and paths to follow, it is because of my own sense of grief for not being able to have children in this lifetime that I am passionate about encouraging any would-be mothers and fathers to recognize that the desire to reproduce is a historically normal and healthy choice.
Homesteading, homeschooling, and any of the domestic arts is and can be an honorable and sacred path to personal fulfillment and self-realization. Many young families are moving out of urban areas to do just that, and loving their freedom, and sense of fulfillment from a more self-reliant and natural existence,
According to the ancient Taoists, and traditional Chinese medicine, the five main internal organs that support life ~ the heart, lungs, spleen, liver, and kidneys ~ are yin, while the hollow organs ~ the gall bladder, stomach, small and large intestines, and the urinary bladder ~ are yang. The yang energy, or wei qi, circulates around the perimeter of the body providing protection from external pathogens. This wei qi circulates below the surface of the skin, offering protection from would-be pathogens, as your house provides protection from the elements.
While the yin organs are always 'full' ~ of blood and nourishment, the yang organs remain open to function of transformation of substances into something else ~ whether nutrients or waste.
Both the yin and yang organs are vital to life, however, it is the yin organs which are especially vital. The yang protects this. This is the way of male and female energies.
A strong woman will recognize her great value ~ including to nourish and support life. She contributes her part of the work required to live, understanding her role, and that of her male counterpart. The archetypal role of the man is to protect his family, and make tough decisions. If the boundaries of protection are breached, opportunistic pathogens / would-be predators invade.
As women, when we know that a male, especially beginning with a loving and supportive father ~ has our back, we blossom. When we do not have that, we struggle to feel secure.
The male and female archetypes each have their inherent strengths, based on the principles of yin and yang. While there can be many variations of how this will manifest, Nature designed a perfect system. When disharmony ensues, we receive feedback letting us know we are out of balance. Our world right now is screaming with signs, however, are we awake enough to receive them?
Men are by nature more logical and practical. They have greater capacity for physical strength, and remaining cool under pressure. They are methodical, and are both the spark (fire) that creates life, and the protector of that life.
Women by nature or more cooling, nurturing, intuitive, and emotionally wired, like water. Water is yin, yet has its own kind of strength. It can flow into various forms, and dissolve hard rock. The earth is also associated with the feminine energy ~ as in the Divine Mother Earth. Many Goddesses were worshipped by our ancestors as they understood that the feminine power, or the Earth herself, produces life and all its sustenance.
We are naturally receptive, yet are we allowing ourselves to receive the fullness life has to offer?
We are natural nurturers, yet I can't help but wonder if the widespread increase in depression, especially among women, is because we are not aligned with the Tao, or our True Nature? We are not expressing our innate gifts in appropriate and meaningful ways, causing many to feel like something is missing, or out of alignment. Instead, we are either trying to be the all to everyone, or, we are busy trying to play the role of both the man and the woman, but falling short, as we are not meant to be both.
I believe a strong woman understands her innate strengths, and expresses them in ways unique to her. She exudes a silent power, as she knows she is connected to the Earth, and can behold the sacred mystery ~ the dark/yin void from which all creation is birthed.
Sure we can also be logical, physically strong, and protective of our own kind, but when our own protective and nurturing nature is extended to those who do not have our best interests at heart, it is a pathological or disharmonious expression of our natural instincts, which rarely rewards us with lasting happiness and fulfillment. A strong woman has appropriate boundaries, and knows when a tough love stance is the most loving act.
Why not embrace the innate power of who we are designed to be? Why be something we are not? Care of the young is an important role, yet children perform much better, and cultivate greater self-confidence when both the male and female parents are present. This is Nature's Way.
We can choose differently, because we have been given free will. However, trying to make a system fit the exception goes counter to nature. Eventually yin and yang will collapse, and cease existence. Living harmoniously is the way that native populations successfully thrived throughout time.
"A Celtic woman is often the equal of any Roman man in hand-to-hand combat. She is as beautiful as she is strong. Her body is comely but fierce. The physiques of our Roman women pale in comparison." ~Unidentified Roman Soldier
In the video on the left, I discuss having patience & perseverance to achieve your goals.
In the video on the right, I discuss the difference between being a victim, versus having a victim mentality.
Both reflecting steps to take towards becoming a strong woman.
So in summary, how do we live as a strong woman?
A strong woman will recognize her true nature is sacred, and to be revered.
To be strong, we must first break free of the current trends and impressions that dictate what a woman 'should' be, do, have, or look like, and allow your most primal and trueheart-felt desires to be illumined. It can be the most enlightening and empowering act you take in your entire life.
The most satisfied and happy women I have ever met are those who are most aligned with the Truth of Who They Really ARE. They are an exalted expression of what a Strong Spirit Woman exemplifies.
More often then not, they are wives and moms.
A strong woman is true to her self, and does not try to be like someone or something she is not.
She expresses her most authentic, divinely designed version of herself ~ with all her imperfections, vulnerabilities and challenges ~ doing everyday activities from the right place of alignment.
To Be A Strong Woman:
First we have to show up.
Next, we must learn to have perseverance to go after our dreams.
Whenever we strive to realize our potential, all that is not in authentic alignment or is out of integrity with who we are will come up to be cleared. We may have bouts of emotional upheaval, or drama that gets stirred up. Knowing this is part of the process, and that things can seem the most dire right before a major break-through can help us to ride the tide. Have faith that the challenges are a good sign of things on the verge of a big shift!
Unplug from mainstream programming. Our subconscious mind is very malleable to the constant barrage of images, symbols, and messages. Mine out the crap, and re-wire with positive thoughts. Unhook from mainstream narratives.
Adopt a cheery disposition. Let others do what they need. They are on their own path.
Take time to tune-in. We are receptive beings, but will not be good at receiving much if our energy fields and our minds are full of debris.
Take steps to improve and align all areas of your life! Get physical. Eat an appropriate diet. Connect with loved ones, Nature, and your own ancestry. Root yourself with the wealth of spiritual resources you have within and all around you. Dig deeper, and look beneath the superficial layers. There is a wealth of beauty and wisdom ~ often hidden ~ within your own lineage. Look for it, rather than seek out answers from non-related cultures. Embrace your true and personal heritage for the greatest homecoming, while encouraging others to do the same. Your answers are closer than you think.
Watch any of the videos shown for more inspiration.
Contact me if you would like a channeled healing message, reading, or coaching to help you clarify your gifts, your path, your true essence, and join the path of seekers of truth, and true inner and outer strength.
"The deep Feminine, the mystery of consciousness, She who is life, is longing for our transformation as much as we are. She holds back, allowing us free reign to choose, nudging us occasionally with synchronicities, illness, births and deaths...But when we make space for Her, she rushes into all the gaps, engulfing us with her desire for life and expression. This is what She longs for, this is what we are for: experiencing the Feminine through ourselves. We simply need to slow down, and find where to put our conscious attention. And it is this, this willingness to look again, this willingness to put consciousness onto our places of unconscious, to express what we have always avoided, which starts the process of unblocking, so that She may flow through ~Lucy H. Pearce, Burning Woman